he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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