Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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