dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
