I'm really into asian looking animals
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
