I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
