everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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