sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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