Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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