Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
