mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
