He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
