Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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