Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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