pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
love makes seman taste better
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
