i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
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she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
did i walk over a car last night?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
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1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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