This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
