I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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