guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
