I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
