I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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