What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
