I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
