I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
