I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
