Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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