Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
