when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
