just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
