By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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