The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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