I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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