ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
