There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize