about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
