I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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