he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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