He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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