oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
