If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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