Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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