Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
