dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
