I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
