he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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