i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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