I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
