I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
