We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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