her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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