Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
