we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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