Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm just crazy horny about you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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