Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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