Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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