In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
