once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize